i'm in the library right now. specifically, "college" library. it is beyond-fucking-me why this school has nicknamed its most popular library "college" like what genius thought that up?

anyway it's about 1:30PM and i have a midterm in economics at 5:45PM. i have done so little to prepare for this subject, possibly the hardest subject i have ever encountered. and i'm having so much trouble giving a fuck. i actually have to summon the strength to look like i give a fuck. i snapchatted my friend twerk "midterm in T minus idgaf" with a picture of me on the dock looking out on to the beautiful lake here. i thought he would think it was funny. he snapped back, "it saddens me how little you care." and i was like woah. it's strange to think anyone here cares about me like that. except sonia.

anyway, i'm going to get a solid F on this midterm and i dont care. maybe it will actually stir up some motivation for me to try later. i have 2 other midterms tomorrow and friday.

every one of my friends here cares ***sooo muchhh*** about their grades that it makes me feel very lonely. idk why.